Monday, February 28, 2005

okayz.. here to blog up what happened today. O level results lo. still got what. how do i describe? still okay la. but then a bit din hit my target.. but nvm liao.. 15 and below. hit liao. so not really disappointing and not really overjoy la.

got L1R5 13, L1R4 11.. not really fantastic compared to others.. cos a lot get around the same marks. but for comparison to myself can liao. haiz.. n got 2 sad things. one is like i get 13, then some others improve more than expected.(go think y...) haiz.. i sad. second, if not for my eng, i would have scored even better. got a C6 for it. sianz... but luckily passed.

English C6
Combine Humanities A2
GeographyA1
Math A1
A math A2
Biology B3
Science(phy/chem) A1
chinese A2
so got 6 distinctions and 1 B and one pathetic C.... C6 somemore .. haiz

haiz.. sad for my eng. but overall not looking at eng i m quite happy with it=) hehez.. then they all happy for me=) then papa agree to fork out some money to buy mp3.. yay.. finally planning to buy liao..weee..overjoyed over it...
today was really a nervous and worried day lo. its like i wonder if MOE or sch could set the time earlier when receiving results. its a torture to wait till 2pm in the aftn. will start to think many things.. and worry.. haiz. like me for instants, worry until dunno where.. wanna break down liao. then around noon like that went to west mall with my ma.. to buy cookies for ms hoe.. that time then i relax and forget a bit of the worries. i really cant think and make guesses abt my results.. really..
now i can all i wan liao.. dun need worry results come out become what.. since its already out! haha.. oh well, actually that time i anyhow say later come out the L1R5 is my bday date.. 13.. diaoz.. (-_-!!!) in the end really come out 13.. lolz. thou yesterday i sort of dreamt that i got 10. too bad.. nvm.. that's someone's score lo... haha... i got into the wrong dream. lolX!

then was like sms all the way.. passing msg around... abt results la. then once i reached home.. dunno y so many sms come.. then was around 5pm liao.. by the time i reached home. then for the next 45 mins. i was smsing none stop. my thumbs were all numb. lolz. dunno y also.. and it was continous.. tired sia. haha.so many pple also
oh ya.but before that to note that before i reach home, went to coffee shop to like see them eat lunch. thou i bought some drinks to drink.. but oh well, just see there and hang around for a while with yr, jy, jol and some kpo pigu.. ks.... lolz he beri kpo lo. he waited and see me get results.. diaoz. was rite beside me when i got my results. and teachers over there laugh like dunno what. then mrs tai complained abt him being irritating. and i sort of agree. but that's him la. haha.. i got used to it after 16 years liao.. normal to me lo.. =p

its a memorable day..

junior winnie came a while to support me le.. haha.. rite? thx~! but then i was too worried and nervous. cos my index no. like quite at the back. then when they started taking results was like.. arghX... mrs chia and mr chia was there.. mrs chia give results.. mr chia at the side give the year book. but i still cant figure out whether the year book was $5 or free.. then still tell us make donation. in the end i dunno my $5 go where.. aiya.. dun care.. it might be my last contribution in financial to fuhua ba...

and mr chia was so happy that whole class passed both maths!! yay.. haha.. 3 cheers for all of us! it was quite amazing as some of them din pass math(esp amath) all the while.. since sec 3.. and its really shiok to hear that they passed O level! woohoo...
then today went to give ms hoe belated bday presents also. she was *smiling all over the place* cos last batch, there wasnt any distinction at all.. for art and design. then hor.. this year, what a surprised! 66.7%( if i din rem wrongly) got distinction le!!!! omg!!! so gd lo.. i happy for them. =)))and yr got A2 le for art.. haha.. yea.. u din make a wrong choice to do art la. =p
then ms hoe shout and tok until no voice liao.. blahxxx..haha....

then now is to choose what course in poly liao.. one big big BIG burden off my shoulder.find that eng is beri impt.. like me for example.. haiz. saddened.. scared later some poly courses dun except me how? haiz.
for now la.. i think after much considerations, i think will be choosing industrial design at nyp. thou its a bit far.. i think hopefully passion would overcome it. besides if interior design is really saturated.. with any of ur skills and ideas.. u still cant really get a place in society.. i dun think i shall risk it. really.. hopefully i made the right choice. then i duno if my mind would change or not. see first ba..

hmm.. i will see what i wanna add. typing a long blog here.. thou it doesnt really seems on the blog itself. cos the fonts quite small and the whole blog page is quite space out..( i found out) haha..

okay... let me end here first.. tata!
yay.... i have sth done in my life for now..

- tengwan13@hotmail.com
-8:26:00 PM

Sunday, February 27, 2005

haiz.. i really cant make up my decision where to choose and where to go. tmw will be getting results liao.. i will either be two extremes.. overjoying with the grades or sinking into depression over it. i cant dare to imagine it. really. what m i going to do? and shld i really take up interior design? initially, i have made up my mind on what to study. and going for it. now.. i m mixed up with pple's suggestions and things like that. i cant make anymore decision. yet i got to make it in the following days.. which will be deciding my future....

i really dunno. how? i have went almost all polys.. and the deepest impression was still nyp. but its so far..
and just now went for art lesson. i find myself lack of so much confidence. i cant find it. i m searching for it. cos now graduate from sec sch liao. then must come out be leader in blac. then i cant even project my voice and introduce myself. then teacher like a bit biased.. 2pid. then every electing leader got to show the juniors out artpieces. then i showed mine too. in then end so many rise up hands(voting) (-_-!!) then got into the higher committee. but i dun think i knw how to do anything. haiz....no tan...

i stil find myself unable to speak up.....

haiz...

hopefully, when i blog tmw will be a cheerful one....i prayed hard....

-cannot.decide.tengwan
-1:25:00 PM

Saturday, February 26, 2005

yea.. i change skin liao. dunno le. find that the previous skin getting beri messy.. so i decided to change it. maybe this skin a bit not good. cos the blog is so long.. haiz.. no perfect skin in the world. still cant find a suitable music for my blog..
haiz... getting results soon le.. how? i would fell lotsa of butterflies in my tummy when i think of getting results soon.. worried.. yaya.. pple will say what is done is done.. no point worrying. but then no matter what.. u would still feel uneasy. afterall, 4 years of hard work and what i gave in the best .. the results is coming out. i m beri worried. what if i cant score as well? it doesnt matter what my score is when i look at the point of view that i m going to poly.. or to get a diploma.. but then is like what if u get lousier than those pple who gets lousier grades all the while? the kind of disappointment is undescrible.. i m really scared that this thing happens. and what if i cant hit my target? u still have to face the music.. face my frens, family, relatives, ex frens.. parents frens.. all those. i dunno y pple around me(not in sch i mean) , they normally do much better in studies than i do. is like they are in RV, RI, hwa chong... victoria.. cwss.. all these schools. esp the ones in rv.. haiz.. my fren got all A1 and one A2 for eng.. he is from rv somemore.. now in hwa chong. same age as me. i feel so stress.. haiz. y le.. mama papa not fair also. i dunno how to study de. and they gave all the study brainscells to my bro. haiz... fated.

i dun dare to face it le..


-12:09:00 PM

Friday, February 25, 2005

haiz.. okay.. here to blog again.went to nanyang academy of fine arts (NAFA)yesterday.. i shall briefly say what i knw abt there.. at first i thot its not beri gd place.. cos its like so odd one out if pupils go there.. really, mostly pupils there are those results not beri gd de.. then a lot of foreigners too. haiz.. i dun really knw if i shld consider there.
the good thing abt there is that their first year, u dun need to choose course. its foundation studies the first year.. u learn all kinds of design. then after that the 2nd year then u choose courses.. either interior design, visual communication, multimedia, fine arts, art(teaching)or the new course, environmental design. then over there u have much more opportunties to interact with companies already while u are studying ur diploma. so i wonder if there is a better chance of getting a job after getting the diploma... haiz. but then the school fees quite ex. $3260 for first year.. then will be diff for each course after taking.
then its a new campus too..
if cannot afford the sch fees.. can find aid... or can work for sch? i dunnno
the prob is, i dunno what course i want to choose le..
its not bad like for nafa.. u get to expose urself to diff designs before planning to take what course.. but then... what if i wanna take product and industrial design? and they dun really offer that course.

i wonder how my o level results will be. i cant think of the consequences manz... haiz....

what course shld i really choose?

shld i really go for interior design? or landscaping? or product and industrial design?
vexvexvex........

i dunno!!!
and for heaven sake.. how many times i need to ans to pple y i quit jjc?! 2pid...
y must pple be so suprise when i quit sch?? beri shocking meh?
dun like the life in jc then quit what.. where got what reason. wan go poly or wan go for design diploma cannot meh.. ?

2pid...

haiz....

i m stuck..................

-tengwan
-12:19:00 PM

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

today is just another normal day. din step out of house today thou'. and today is her bday.. =) we hvnt bought her presents yet.. dunno what to buy le..
then thot that fri will be getting results.. but then argh.. its mon.. haiz..gonna think and worry for another 6 days.. haiz.bad sia

then will be going jy house tmw.. blahz.. then thur will be going to nanyang academy of fine arts with my ma. go there see see.. but then i got a feeling that my ma wants me to go there more than going poly. since both still gets a diploma in the end. but i dunno le. i dun really like NAFA. sounds rite like... odd.. i dunno.shld i? haiz.

many things are up on my mind. i cant decide things at all. what i have decided, i would doubt it so much that i m lost. feel that lost once again... i shld go back to my old blog template...

what if i cant meet my expectations?
what if i make the wrong decision?
what if i cant maintain that passion?
what if i choose the wrong path?
what if i m lost?
so many what if. doubts....

haiz.....

shld i really choose nafa too? got audition le.. i can make it meh? i dun think so. i cant display things well... but nafa is gd as in i find that first year, u do a foundation. and 2nd year, u will choose what course u will be studying.. let us expose to diff things first b4 we make choices.. but i dunno..product and industrial design? landscaping architecture? or interior design that i longed to study since i was 8 years old? i cant decide..... i lost all my confidence....



-agonytengwan
-9:31:00 PM

Sunday, February 20, 2005

okayz... another week passing liao.. so sianz. yesterday din really sleep properly. quite of cannot get to sleep these few days.. then beri tired.. yawnZ! then early morning wake to go art lesson.. well, felt quite stupid to brg everything.. includes watercolour, oil painting and pencil sketch things.. end up only pencil sketch. arghX.. then draw draw draw.. what martell bottle,7-up bottle, one coke can and 2 oranges.. yawnz... end up with Adot.. sianz.. no As this year yet.. just that i one year din draw pencil sketch liao. everything forget liao.. forget to outline.. forget to clean.. and i cant get the 7upbottle shape rite.. paper too big la.. lolz.. really.. haha...

okay.. too much description on today's art lesson.. then after lesson end, the sun was so scorching hot that i cannot tahan.. walk all the way to take 157.. then dunno y also. everytime walked till traffic light, i always see the bus go.. sianz.. then have to wait so long for the next bus.. sway~~..then i packet food up for every in my family to eat.. lolz..

then beri sleepy sia. went to nap. before that got help my dad with some printing.. then i slept like beri long like that le.. but only 1 hr.. lolz.. then the weather still beri hot..

hmm.. i cant stop myself from saying : .. arghX... next week take results le!!! omg.!! i wonder how i score le. haiz... what if nv meet up to what i aimed? and for the first O level i took, chinese paper already disappoint me so much. i dun have much confidence liao la. prelim also like dunno what like that. esp my math. i cant do math at one exam basis. i will score badly de. just like the prelim. haiz.
wish those taking results soon all the best. be confident of urself. unlike me.. haiz.
pple confident of me getting gd results. but i dun have single confidence to get good results.. i dun dare to think abt it. consequences is much to big to take on. and those taking O level this year. work hard. really hard. cannot slack even if u reason out that its gonna take on only a exam basis.. and not whole yr.


"dun regret after u slack. u wont regret after u gave in ur best."

-Olevel results phobia tengwan.
-6:48:00 PM

Saturday, February 19, 2005

hmm.. just taking bits of time to blog before i goes out today again..going to jjc love fiesta. oOo.. going back to jjc. memories will come back. haiz.

then yesterday went to tp open house with yr, mj, ben.. then guess what? it takes us almost 2 hrs of jounery to tP.. omg.. then the architecture there sux.. cos each building.. we walked all the way, till the end.. and its a dead end. u gonna walk all the way back or find a stairs to go down. and we have to always go to the main plaza and walk to another building.. and the weather was SO warm...cant stand it manz.. haha... i WOnt go to TP to study one.. haha..

then when on the way, we chatted.. then yr told me abt that teachers recruitment thingy.. say those who receive the letter, gets an average of 17 points.. arghXX!!!haiz.. i dun wan le.. let me get at least 15 and below.. sobz.. haiz. when i heard this news, its like my heart drop till dunno where liao. sinking.. beri scared le.. what if? the results will be out next week le.. it is making me worry even more. haiz... there is sth blocked somewhere in my heart.. uneasiness... arghx..

haiz.. got more to write one.. due to time consume and talking abt the above thing, no mood to write liao.. haiz....

-tengwan
-10:07:00 AM

Thursday, February 17, 2005

haha.. oh well, today is quite special also. my ma's bday today.=) then celebrated with a pandan cake and a steamboat for dinner..(steamboat again.. fat sia) then nth much today ba. got la. sway la.. all but me.. my little finger got scald by the steamboat. the bbq part.. ouch.. pain..

yesterday went down all the way to toa payoh with my ma. then shop shop there. the sun was beating down on us. wahh. beri hot sia. but then we walk walk there, nth much.bought one bag.. black de. then after buying, see exactly same one with a cheaper price.was like..aWww.. haha.. after that went back to the central there.. got air-con. saw some even cheaper bags.. 1 for $6. 2 for $10. then we couldnt believe it. the design not bad le. but of cos for the price the material not gd la. but its nice. so bough another bag for myself and one for ma. lolz. all my ma pay one la. haha.. then come back to BB liao. quite silly rite? all the way down to there... just buy 3 bags.. that's all. then at night, after having an early dinner, went down to the chun dao he pan and c c .. eEEe.. nth much one. wonder its because of the wkday.. no crowd at all. so like no qi fen like that. or its standard drop. to me is like a bigger pasar malam like that only.. selling all those similar things.. then the decorations and the lanterns there quite ugly also. not nice de.. the god of fortune also beri common.. nth much to see.then we watched the show lo.. those pple sing and dance. the mongolians ba.. they are good. but the stage and the sound system was like.. omg! such nice things went through the sound system become like dunno what.. beri nan ting..

enough of complains abt it.. maybe every year go ba.. then nth new liao. there a lot a lot of tourist. esp pple from china. so many sia! hardly any singaporeans there.. some ang mohs too..

then today also dunno do what. nth much lo. went down with ma again to buy things for steamboat and birthday cake... that's all. haiz.. in the end bought nth for ma. dunno what to buy. just chip in some $$ for the cake. which i also ate it. blahz.. bad sia.. haiz.
wanna learn and make blogskins le.. but i dunno how. com dummy still. wanna learn how to use photoshop. but also dunno how and where to start.
will be going to TP open house tmw with few pple. that few pple lo. then see what i will find out further abt design courses..

sianz.. i wan to do many things la. i also wan to find job. who got lobang must tell me le...
haiz..

-tengwan
-10:17:00 PM

Monday, February 14, 2005

14feb. nth much. went to sch early morning help out ms hoe to pack the roses which are going to be sold. afterall, selling of those roses is so troublesome. things get so complicated and messy. haiz. even i and jy also make mistakes.. take wrong roses...then not enough for the jjc pple. gulity sia.then hang and hang around...(like a monkey) for so long. went in and out of staff room so many times. dunno do what somemore.. she had lesson from after recess till 1.30 so we waited.. meanwhile helped mr ng draw balloons for the teachers.. haha.. jy wrote the names, i drew.=) some draw until beri ugly.=p then hoe come back liao, i forgot what we did. but just hang around and rot there.. oh ya. waited to yr to come from home. she had sch lo. then we 3 rotted at ms hoe table. all sat on the floor. including hoe.lolz. everyone pass by see what we doing.. then hang around like that till like 6+ then go off sia. beri late.. before that, ms hoe experimented my 3 roses. trying to wrap them up. she call that 'play'... -_- then wrap liao still quite nice and cute lolz. haha.. aiya. my bro wont care abt that 3 roses.. btw, that's his.. =p

then came back home.. eat dinner liao.. come online and blogging here.. nth much to do. but now, i feel like writing descriptive writing.
and i still have bits of bday mood.



-9:42:00 PM

Sunday, February 13, 2005

okayz, now then i have time to blog. no time at all today. but cannot dun blog. half more hour not my bday liao.. so sad. get fed up with sth just now.. 2pid 2pid 2pid. 2pid msn too..

today nth much. another sianz day.. first time morning celebrate and cut cake. and have that cake for breakfast....then right in the morning go pple house liao. in serangoon somemore.. then stayed there so long.. but then there got dogs.. beri cute.. one is like the police dog, one the kind of dog we saw in the movie 'the mask' that milo the dog.. haha... so cute....beri smart too!

then after that went to what so called 5 stars chicken rice restaurant eat... then went to pasir ris pple house.. all my parents' old frens house.. i knw them la.. but starting to have generation gap. lolz.. after that went to tampines..(all sO far from my house.. sianz) another house.. just spend my bday this year at this 3 houses.. so poor thing.. haiz.. but got quite a lot ang bao la.. but hvnt open yet.. no time open......

sianz.. my bday is going to over within another half an hour... one year once.. its gonez....

haiz.. a special yet a little bad birthday.. 17 liao.. old liao.. haizz...

i wait. waiting for it and things to pass....
how long?

-moody.bday.girl.with.20minsbdaylefttocelebrate.
~tengwan
-11:24:00 PM

Saturday, February 12, 2005

okayz... i m getting old liao.. tmw will be my bday. but it seems not too interesting nor so 'celebrating' le.. sianz. shld i stay at home all alone or join my parents and go to houses and houses? i dunno le.. so sianz. today also nth much. in the morning went for breakfast outside. ate that rough rough kuay.. then we went to pick up my aunt and cousin. and we head for my er yi house.. that day din have time to bai nian.. so today we went. then reach there.. nth to do. then beri full and a bit of indigestion.haha. then din eat much there.. only eat one biscuit and a few sunflower seeds. lolz.. and some drinks. so sianz.. then listen to them talk abt our anscestors.. blahz.. hang around there like 2 hrs+ like that.. then sms my frens...

after that came back home. on the way.. turning into the carpark. guess what we all saw( my whole family.. actually my ma pointed out one, not me) jy and tf together.. lolz.. then i told her.. she so paiseh.. haha.. everywhere u all go also kana see one lo..
then come back home. nth to do also.. then start to think here and there. then get moody.. lolz.. then play a bit of game with my bro. and nap for a while....ZZzzzZ

then my ma went down to buy my and hers birthday cake.. so its one. rather big.. coffee taste de=) will be celebrating it tmw early in the morning .. lolz.. shld i tag along with them tmw? haiz..

then have been looking out for my poly courses.. and even courses in uni. hopefully they match each other.. haiz.. then mon will be collecting roses from ms hoe.. haha. and deliever to jjc..=) with pao. duno jy will come along or not lo.

so sianz.

wanna catch up with some reading of mag and story books.. wanna draw more things.. wanna online.. wanna music a bit more.. but its like.. haiz. still feeling if i have done correctly by dropping. like become beri lazy like that. haizzzzz....

miss everything. time flies. turning 17 tmw at 11am liao.. haiz......
remembering.....


-sentimentaltengwan
-9:18:00 PM

Thursday, February 10, 2005

okok.. here to have a short blog.. just came back home from my 4th uncle house..
then beri tired.. haha.. this year beri bad luck sia.. play gambling everything lose like siao.. haha.. sianz diaoz lo. then play with my little cousin.. 5 years old only.. then beri violent sia.. hurt me here and there.. terrible..but he beri clever and cute la.haha.. karseng brother la. aiyo. but beri beri cute to play with=)

then today nth much of ang bao. only 3. haha.. then total i counted liao only got $186.. for all ang bao.. bad bad...

okok.. keep it short. go play com game liao..tata

-tengwan

-10:26:00 PM

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

haha.. here to blog again.. find that i have more things to blog during chinese new year. today is the first day of new year liao.. (thou "yesterday" i blog, was already the newyear day liao)
okayz.. now, today hor... so sianz la. thou got ang bao take la.. quite a lot ba.. over $100++ then got one ang bao beri cute le.. inside is thou only $6, but its all $1 notes! and all new ones! the bird design de. haha.. nice nice.. lolz

then today around 9+, my jiu jiu come my house liao.. then so sianz.. nth to do also. only the computer to accompany me and my cousins.. blahz. then ate my lunch at home and went over to my wai po house.. then go bai nian liao, went over to my lao ku jia.. blahz.. watever how i pronounce. then stayed there quite long. haha. the interesting part is when they actually kept over 20 hamsters as pets. SO cuTE!!! haha.. got 6 newborns. which their eyes hvnt open yet. so cute.. haha.. like not bigger than a thumb. lolz. after that went all the way down to tampines, my jiu jiu house. and sat there like a stone.. do nth also.. staring into the tv,all of us watching my cousin playing xbox.. so sianz.. and hours past. poor me.haha. then lastly, when over to my ahma house( diff from my wai po house) and had my dinner there. din have much appetite. uclers beri pain... haiz. then the food i also dun like.haha. so din really eat much today. as a meal. haha..

okay.. i now also soooo sianz. listening to the harry potter prisoner of azkaban. i borrowed from my aunt de. still got enya soundtrack and one more dunno what. okok.. looking forward to read my j-star magazine later..haha.. looks nice. taiwan magazine open from the left one instead of right. i wonder if their books all open that way? haha...

tmw still have to wake up early in the morning and go over to my ah ma house and go for the trip on chu er. yaWnz. i wanna sleep sia...
then just receive the TP thingies. guess i will be going for the open house on either17,18 or 19.. dunno. must pull pple to come along with me.lolz.

hey.. harrypotter soundtrack not bad...~!

and now drinking the lemon &kalamansi drink made by SP pple. lolz.taste quite sour. but not bad. haha.....
i starting to miss things. i dunno la. shld i ? i started to miss the happy times with my frens. haiz........

okayz, chu yi dun think sad ba. but then for the new year, i hit my right leg AgAIn! 3 of my toes bang into the bed.. ouCh! then the impact like so great, it hurt my ankle. so sway again.. haiz.. next will be my left foot lo. start of the year my legs kanna hit 3 times liao.. in rows.. sianz.....

okay, enough of complains and little things liao.. haha.. happy CNY!
will i blog tmw? who knows?

-hUrtiNg lEggY tEngWaN~~~



-8:37:00 PM

haha.. ok.. i just got back home not long ago after my reunion dinner, steamboat at my ah ma house. then eat so much lo. haha. then got my jstar mag and poster. so big sia.
but then like today beri suay like that(touchwood!) i got hit by books(shu) on my left big toe..so pain. then got hit by 2.5kg of ice on my right foot.. ouch! so painful haiz.. sway...

then play dai tee.. also not beri gd luck. but then better than previous years.. got more by luck.i also dunno if i m supersitious or what. my dad be the banker, i lost all the way.. haha..

after that, almost everyone of us headed towards CBD there.. via the ECP.see the fireworks. at 12 o clock sharp, the fireworks blasted the dark sky into vibrant and amazing scene. beri nice. thou i was like stuck in the car.afterall beri beautiful.

then sent so many sms out.but like this new year nth much one.. not as much pple send. lolz
hmm.. see if i got time tmw morning.. i blog again.. go sleep liao.. gd nite and now its the first day of chinese chick new year liao lo!!! yay!!

-newyear tengwan

-1:14:00 AM

Monday, February 07, 2005

monday.. okay.. i m stuck at home for the day. so boring.. i managed to clean up my room.. now look so clean and tidy.. so shuang.. but then still got some corners not cleaned yet.
yea.. tmw Cny eve liao.. hopefully everything can go smoothing.. as well as the following days of cny..

then i got my "happy memories" photos updated again.. those photos were from fhss website. haha.. the photos (think taken by mrs tai) on the sports day.. hehez.. saved some nice ones only=) haha. wanna see more go to fhss homepage see lo. then i find that animation made and put up on fhss website, is rather funny.. lolz. but think made by students. still not as bad as it seems la. haha..gd try.

guess i will be going back tmw. hopefully i could find someone to go with me.. dunno got who go le.. haiz.. calling jy to go. but like she dun wan go le. but i have to go. cos i promised my pri sch fren to donate $2.. arghX.. money again. and i think tmw i will be going over to my ah ma house for reunion dinner. steamboat.. yummy.. and getting my j-star mag and 5566 poster!!! yea... haha.. excited sia.

ook.. dunno liao la.. afterall, now still quite sianz.. haiz..

-tengwan

-3:41:00 PM

Sunday, February 06, 2005

haiz.. today actually nth much. so sianz. and chinese new year coming lo. have to do the last min packing. found out that when i m fed up with things, i pack rather fast.. lolz. within 5 mins one corner finished. okayz. then the thing under my table is rotting .. so i m now packing it too. things i pull out from there is like at least 2 years to 10 years!! Omg.. lolz. scary hur? today got lots of mood swings.. lolz.. but still ok la. so sianz..
finish that 2pid purplish oil painting of mine. i just dunno how to paint coconut tree. cannot la.. then 2pid.. got A dot. i sianz half liao.. haiz. spoil my mood too. then ask my ma lunch will be eating out or at home. also get scolded.. i angry sia.. i no mood liao.. haiz..
then tmw dun think there is ath ba. then tue will be new year eve. will be going back to fuhua for celebration i think. haha.

okz.. still quite moody.. dun like pple disturb me.

all the sudden, i dunno. i dunno wat to do. feeling the kind of lost i used to had. really. aimless. i wan to do many things. yet, i dunno how to start and where to start with. the lost whelms me....
haizzzz......
i m still feeling lousy and gulity abt quitting jjc. my ma la. say until like i dun wan to study like that. 2pid la. y cant i just pursue my dreams? y must follow everything that is set? and they still have that 2pid 2pid 2pid mindset of going jc would be a better route?! i hate it. they still wan their child to go jc. i HATe jc la. jc SUx.. i DUn wan to go there.. 2pid subjects that bombard me for over 10 years. i hate it. i dun wan to go through another 2 years of repetition of education system. what if i failed and retain in jc? i would rather go poly. 2pid...

watever la.. but i dun think poly life would be as easy too. at least i dun see poly students as stress as jc students. everytime i take bus home, those jjc students look dead.. i really cant cope that kind of lifestyle. whats more i m one that could not take stress. i would stress myself out first before anyone does. so y bother?

-veXingtengwaN

-8:03:00 PM

Friday, February 04, 2005

muhaha.. today is FUHUA sports day.. and can consider the last sports day. sad la.. the new principal dun wan sports day.. haiz.. but then this year, me ,jy,yr, cs,mj, helped out for cheering with yellow house..for ms hoe..haha.. then so fun lo. in the end, we were the big WINNER! lolz.. overall cheering champion and CHAMPION for the whole event! remarkable hur? haha.. so glad. i betrayed green house. cos it nv wins.haha.. and all the teachers and students not enthu one. not fun one.. but today the yellow pple slowly joined in.. but of cos la, not as much as jj spirit. find that i got a bit of jjc spirit liao..haha. i went back to fuhua almost everyday to help out la.. and to rot in fuhua also. at least, hard work pays off.=) hoe shld be beri beri happy ba..

we were in all yellow.. so maybe the impact quite strong. then oliver was the mascot for yellow house. we did the lion mask and stuck with yellow pages paper.. haha.. so fun. lolz. then he was running abt with that mask..

"miracliy", shouted a lot, my throat din go wrong at all. normally it would. okayz.. blahz..

yea.. yellow was first=)

nice memory.. quite fun actually. seeing those teachers play play. then me, yr, mj, challenged one teacher from red house with "go yellow go!" while of cos the teacher shouted red instead. haha.. shout until no breath. then like mad ladies like that. haha.. lotsa of my juniors were in yellow also.. lolz.. then play play smile smile together.. blahz.

okok.. enough ba.. things in my mind cannot be translated to words.. cant say out how everything was felt. overall, its enjoying=)

yeLlOW ruLZ!

-yellowish-tengwan

-9:40:00 PM

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

• i wan to go poly-- to pursue design courses
• i wan to start my portfoilo early
• i dun like jc life
• the sch campus
• subject combination(practically dun like chem in the first place. i just hate it so much that i got turned off whenever i sees it
• teachers there i shld say. their teaching method or jc teaching method dun seems fitting to me
• i dun like jc subjects. finding myself more devoted and enthu to what i m passionate abt.i sort of know my direction in life. i m just making a step towards it.
• sick of the policies of education.. test, exams, reporting sch so early.
• i cant handle GP
• PC lesson..(yaz.. lame..)
• aircon.. thou i like. but makes me sick at times.

okay.. enough i think.. there is more of cos. but i shallnt list it.. really.. however, sth that really would rem is the jj spirit, frens i made in OG and 05S03.. they are really good frens. cant really bear to part them. but then is like asking around, so many of them are leaving after first 3 months. so haiz.. i cant do ath to it.

today was a day mixed with smiles and tears. i dunno.. smiles because i m out of jjc. no more hard core subjects that i have to juggle with. but then , within a short month, many things happen. it changed my perspective of life. really. i sees things differently. i totally agree with what they said. "as one grew up, its harder and harder to make loyal and frens that are truthful to u"maybe time hvnt ripe. but till now, i think its really memorable for me. the hugs, shocks, and voices... which surrounds me for the whole day. scene of them. pictures of detailed things.seriously, if not considering those i hated, i would have stayed on.

upon seeing all those shocked faces today. i have seen SO many.. they were like popping eyes and jaw drop expression. and questioning me same things. all of the sudden, i felt i m selfish. was i too rash? nobility in me doesnt really surface. i really cant stand another day of lesson there.. not because of frens, but other factors. haiz. miserable.

dun leave, i suffer. leave, i m miserable.....

and today, i went thru so much just to transfer out. that's what i dun like abt jjc too. i have to get the pple who runs the sch fees thingy to sign that i have paid everything, i have to find librarian to sign too, just in case i borrowed books and din return. yet, both of them only reports to work at 9+ and 10+. i was like so sickened out of it. so inefficient. din even inform me before hand. then other sch pple drop out dun need to hand over ezlink. yet at jjc, i have to. they wan to cancel student fare and change to adult fare... so unFAIr.. blahz...by then, i only get to go off at around 10.30.. and for my part, i have to wait for them. so i actually attended chinese lesson which lasted for 2 hrs.

after that met up with jy, to swim.. yaya.. they have pc lesson in the aftn. so they ran, i swam. okay.. i m still feeling i m just "fish monger"(selfish) . after that went to ta bao and eat at my house. we played a while of sims 2 and met yr at fuhua. i go back almost everyday now and then. even last week when i had sch. i find myself much more devoted and the sense of attachment to fuhua. really. its a big family.. i have my "mama" there, thou i dun call her.haha.. then got many teachers there that is much better and cheerful than jjc. haiz. its too late for me to realise. but at least i get some enjoyment now... maybe at jjc, because of the short period of time, we din really get to know the teachers well. and on the other hand, i think jc life is too stressful for me. academic stuff which i wasnt interested at all. yet i m force to study. will that make good results? i m one that holds responsibility in my work. true. i dun like things undone half way. okay.. a perfectionist i can say. i would feel gulity if i did not give in my best. so meanwhile, during this perfectionist procedure, i gave myself lots of stress. unneccesary stress.

okay.. i got a bunch of great frens made at jjc. i must really say. sms are delievered=). haiz.. i like let them down a lot....

i wan to make this blog long... its really a meaningful blog. another milestone in my life... touched and wordless... thou i typed a lot..for the moment, i dunno how to explain everything that is stuck somewhere in my heart. deep down...i dunno how to express it.

thank a BIllion for the patient OGLs, OG mates, 05s03 mates... really.... they changed my life.

"life is filled with wonderful colours. some colours might fade after a while. some will never fade away...."

"what u have it now, cherish it. treasure it. it might be gonez the next second, next mintue. dun regret it by then. dun cry over it. what has left behind. shall be left forever. it wont come back. just cherish, moments and memories we all once shared. keep those laughters in ur heart. reminiscences will be sweet when they are recalled. human would only remember the sweet, not bitter."

" share whatever u have. spare whoever they are. "

-tengwan........

-9:13:00 PM

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